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Santos

Posted by Rob | Filed under Animals, Texas

Vulture

Posted by Rob | Filed under Animals, Texas

Clay Henry IV

Posted by Rob | Filed under Animals, Texas

4 Things to know about Texas:

Texas is known for it’s strong political families. Families whose sons may end up in positions of power because their father knows someone or their brother gives them a hand to get into office by ignoring some bits of paper.
Texas men are real men and will fight for the love of a good woman.
Texas is a violent place so intrigue and murder will always be lurking around the corner.
Although some of Texas is dry it’s known that a few of the inhabitants have a slight drinking problem.

The small Texas town of Lajitas and the Clay Henry family illustrates these 4 Texan characteristics.

21 years ago a big, rich drug dealing oil baron wanted to come and buy the whole of the town of Lajitas. He drove a big car and wore a large Stetson. He loved the town’s close connection to the Mexican border. All he need do was cross the Rio Grande and his drug importing business was away. He wanted to become mayor so that he could change the town’s constitution and legally buy up all the houses.

The mayoral elections were coming up and he campaigned like no other had done before. He waved cash in front of his voters and was sure he’d soon be in office.

Clay Henry however had other ideas. A young, bright eyed, recently graduated college student who had studied Plato and was a fan of John Stewart Mill believed in the right to a fair election and wasn’t about to let the Big Bad get his hands on his town. With the help of Lady Bird Taylor the wife of the late Texan Governor and 37th president Lyndon B Johnson’s they worked night and day on Clay Henry’s campaign strategy. Late one night after discussions with Lady Bird on Clay Henry’s policy on drugs she offered him a cold beer to help him relax. Up till now Clay Henry had been a member of the Temperance society and seen himself as a solid Teetotaller, prefering milk as a child and then water. The stresses of the time were getting to him and he thought that just one drink will be okay so he accepted and downed it in one.

After months of hard work election day came around and the whole town came out to vote. With all 100 votes in, counted and recounted the time came for the results. With the Big Bad and Clay Henry both on the podium the adjudicator came forward to announce the winner.

49 Votes for The Big Bad - 51 For Clay Henry.

That was it, Clay Henry had won and the Big Bad left the town immediately. He was heard swearing from his car window and shouting something along the lines of “I would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for you pesky kid!”

Life in Lajitas settled down and Clay Henry was a good and fair mayor. The streets were safe and the drug cartels had to find a new border town to pester.

Clay’s troublems had not all gone though. At night he would wash away his stresses with a bottle of beer and although he was soon the responsible father of Clay Henry JR this gentle method of relaxation soon became a bigger problem.

As Clay Henry began to drink more freely Clay Henry JR had to grow quickly and take on some of the responsibilites of Clay Henry trying to keep Lajitas a safe and fair town. Clay Henry JR soon found love and was thinking of settling down to have kids when one moonlit night in rutting season he returned late from the office to find a drunken Clay Henry flirting with his sweetheart. In no time he saw red and killed his father with one blow.

The old mayor was now dead but Clay Henry JR liked the idea of being in a position of power and declared himself ruler of this town. None of the Lajitas was willing to argue with a murderer and let him take control. At night however Clay Henry JR feeling remorse would also wash his stress away with a beer and so the cycle continued.

Fast forward 21 years and the drawing above shows Clay Henry IV, the great grandson of the first beer drinking goat mayor of Lajitas Texas.

The Real Clay Henry IV